The first time I remember being sexually assaulted was my 16th birthday. I had gotten dressed up, and was going out on the town with my best friend. I was very excited, I had a new dress, and knew I looked super cute. I felt great. We ended up going to a few parties at the apartments of some older male friends. The first party had long island iced teas and wine coolers. I drank a bunch of them, thinking I was being sooo cool, and ended up puking in their bathroom. I was sooo embarrassed. Eventually, someone escorted me into a bedroom to “sleep it off.” I vaguely remember one of the residents coming in and trying to makeout with me before my friend and her bf came, and told me were changing locations. At the next house party, I was still throwing up, so I was left in the bathroom while everyone else I knew went to a diner for late night grubbing. Once I had vacated my stomach of all it’s contents, I crawled out to the living room. I remember seeing two guys sitting on a couch. I looked at both through my drunken haze and told one, “wow, you’re hot,” before passing out face first on the floor. Later, I briefly woke up, and I was on a couch. I looked down to my left, and thought, “oh, wow, there is a dick in my hand…” then I looked to my right, and realized, “oh, there is a dick in my other hand too” before I blacked out again. That’s all I remember from that night.
When my bff found out what happened, she was upset and confronted the guys, but we kept hanging out with them. I felt it was just what happens when you drink too much, especially when you tell a guy you think he is attractive on top of it.
A couple of years later, I dated one of the boys who assaulted me.
I didn’t recognize how messed up that incident was until many years later. In fact, at the time, I was most concerned with whether or not one of the guys put their hands up my skirt. You see, I was having my period, and would have been very embarrassed if they had had to encounter THAT when they touched me without my permission.
To this day, I still don’t know if either of them did.